"I Know He Can Afford So Much More": Woman Checks Her Engagement Ring's Hallmark And Finds Out That It's "Cheap"

Many ponder whether the material value of an engagement ring truly matters.

Some believe the "your ring isn't what matters – it's what it symbolizes" notion, while others lean toward the mythical requirement that folks must spend at least two to three months of their income.

However, in reality, it all varies.

Splurging on your forever partner's engagement ring should be an individual thing that depends on a couple of factors: your earnings, pre-existing financial responsibilities like debts, the time you’re willing to spend on saving up, and perhaps whether or not you or your partner have a particular ring in mind that you’re determined to get.

That said, there's no one-size-fits-all answer. At the end of the day, it all comes down to the nature of your relationship – but that doesn't change the fact that catching your financially stable partner cheaping out on you is the last thing anyone would want to deal with.

More info: Mumsnet

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"Engagement ring expectations" – a woman who was recently proposed to took to one of the UK's most popular websites for parents to debate her feelings and seek advice after her now-fiancé, who's allegedly pretty financially stable, popped the question with a cheap and ill-fitting ring. The post managed to garner 217 replies that mostly sided with her disappointment.

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The woman began her post by revealing that she got engaged approximately two months ago. She then went on to say that although she hates to admit it, when she first saw the ring, she couldn't help but feel disappointed. It looked very inexpensive, costume jewelry-like, and didn't resemble what she had anticipated at all.

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Image credits: Marko Klaric

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She then added that she's not a big jewelry wearer and that her expectations were, in fact, fairly low. Moreover, when she tried the ring on it was too big, and although her now-fiancé promised to have it adjusted for her, nothing about the ring or its fixing has been brought up since that initial chat.

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Image credits: Nestor Cortez

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Additionally, the woman said that, out of pure curiosity, she had looked up the ring's hallmark. She found that the stone(s) was cubic zirconia, which is essentially a cheap man-made diamond substitute, and the base was sterling silver. To give fellow non-jewelry wearers a more illustrative example, according to IGS, an International Gem Society which is the largest online gemology resource and community whose mission is to make gemology accessible and affordable, a cut and polished one-carat cubic zirconia stone will cost about 20 bucks, whereas the price for a one-carat diamond usually starts at around $1,800.

Finally, the soon-to-be wife (or not) stated that she knows that an engagement is not about money; however, she's well aware of her partner and she knows that he can afford so much more – plus, he's pretty "extravagant" in his own spending on himself.

So, the question stands. Does the woman's concern scream "entitled" or should the ring price matter? What do you think?

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Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

Hey! I'm a photo editor. In my free time, I love going to art galleries, exhibitions, concerts or just hanging out in nature with my friends. My dream is to get an RV and travel around the world with my dog.

Personally I think it's weird men are still expected to shell out a significant amount of money on a ring purchase for an engagement and women don't get men something as a signifier that he too is engaged. The ring is basically marking her as taken and is just a ploy by diamond companies to sell their ridiculously marked up wares. But in this case the lack of communication from both parties is a bit worrisome. The ring thing is still weird though

Yes. The only modern reason for a costly ring is bragging rights... spend it on a house downpayment instead. Go to local craftsman and have 1-of-a-kind ring made for comparatively few bucks.

When my fiance and I were talking about getting engaged he had gone through his mother's heirloom rings to see if there was anything in there that he would want to give me. He didn't like any of them so he took them to our local jeweler and got the gold melted down. All the stones are rescued from those rings and all he had to pay for was the work. It's unique and suits both our tastes with a hidden secret that only we would understand. I'm absolutely in love with the ring, even if it looks nothing like a traditional engagement ring (closer to a wedding ring), and I couldn't have asked for or expected anything better.

That was a sweet idea. It has a back story and is unique

Perfect! and uniquely yours.

I agree with the specificity of a diamond, but certainly a wedding ring should be high quality and durable for the decades to come. Cubic zirconia and sterling silver will not hold up.

An engagement ring and a wedding ring are two different things. And she already stated she doesn't wear jewelry. it will be fine in a box.

My engagement ring is cubic zirconia and sterling, and it's held up beautifully through the years.

I didnt care how much my guy spent on my ring, but what I did care about was that it was something I could wear forever, meaning it's comfortable, I like it, and it will last a long time.I wouldn't care if he spent one dollar on it. But on the other hand, if he was constantly spending our money on himself and not on the *one* thing that is supposed to be a symbol of our undying love, then yes that would be an issue.

Unless she'd pay the equal amount for a ring to 'prove' his worth and show he's taken, then this is an antiquated (outdated tradition) for this day. Why is it that a woman wears a ring but a man is trusted to be honest about his status? Maybe it could turn into a way to show that you made it 25 years of married bliss? Most couples can afford a better ring by then too. I have the set my grandfather gave my grandmother for their 25th anniversary, married greater than 50 years too (but no other ring tho, hee hee) My mom gave my dad a great ring after they were married more than 25 years-- but that was because it was worn down , it was razor thin!

My grandmother's band is also razor thin. It represents quite a love story, as some of her family disowned her for marrying a less-than-wealthy man.

I think it was more because as "tradition" goes, the bride's family used to pay for the whole wedding, so the man spending money on the engagement ring balanced it out.

Nope, to show she's taken, the cost of the honeymoon is his way of balancing out.

Agree

It used to be a certain percentage of their monthly salary. I don't get it - you're about to spend a truckload on a wedding - and if she is already complaining about "cheap", that's a red flag right there.

Yeah, all you're paying for with diamonds is de Beers marketing. But you should discuss that between yourselves.

I think if it was a really beautiful ring that fit perfectly, it wouldn't matter what it had cost.But it wasn't.When my husband asked me, my ring was a very cheap silver band with a teensy-tiny gold triangular on top encasing a diamond splitter. Because my husband was broke back then. But it still was beautiful and fit perfectly. He had roped my grandmother in to get my ring size without me knowing. She asked me for help cleaning her jewellery and asked me to try on her rings for fun, I had absolutely no idea it was for my ring size! She had gotten some cheap plastic rings with the sizes inside she told me they'd come in a promo and let me try them and joked she might get me a ring for Christmas. I absolutely had no idea at all she was doing this for my then-bf.But this guy put in absolutely no effort to find a nice design and doesn't even seem to care that she can't wear the ring because it doesn't fit. He's definitely NOT a keeper.

Yeah, i wondered that. There's been no word on the resizing. Idk i need more info.

I know that some jewelers don't like resizing silver rings (it's soft, can only be resized once, apparently easy to ruin the ring or gemstone setting) but I'm guessing that part of the reason he hasn't had it resized is that a jeweler will immediately know it's cz. He's either worried about being embarrassed or her finding out from the jeweler that it's cz, or both.

It may be a beautiful ring to some people, she just doesn't like it. My wedding ring set is the classic solitaire engagement ring with plain wedding band. It's sterling silver with a large cubic zirconia and it's gorgeous. I get compliments all the time. My husband could easily afford any ring I wanted but this is the one I picked out because marriage isn't about wearing your money on your hand. All we have is her version of events. I think she an entitled money grabber.

Funny, I remember an article about a woman who was pissed that her fiance proposed with a lab grown diamond ring instead of a real diamond and the comments were universally about how the price of the ring shouldn't matter, yet this article it's the opposite?

I remember that one, too. I think the focus of this article is the line about how the fiancé spends a lot of money on himself on expensive things, but isn't giving any thought or money towards his future wife's ring. I think she starting to see red flags 🚩 but is second guessing herself.

She doesn't mention whether or not she makes money and what she spends it on. My salary after joint bills/savings etc is up to me how I spend it.

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Doesn't she have her own money? Is she depending on him to meet all her needs?

She probably has her own money and isn't dependent on him. But she's hurt that he would by himself a Rolex just because, but then go and buy a Walmart ring for her for such an important moment in their relationship. If he can only afford a Walmart ring, great, they have some really beautiful ones. cherish the moment! But he seems to have put no effort into the next step of their lives together so she's questioning it.

With this one, it isn't just how much it cost, it's also that it didn't fit, it didn't look nice, and the fiancee doesn't seem to care.

I think this is a combo of thingscubic zicron.. is costume jewelry. Like.. the kind you buy for little kids or for a play.. Its.. not even its cheap, its dollar store cheap, and he said he would get it resized, which you can't do with that kind of ring unless you send it to a jeweler, itll cost more money to do that then the ring itself due to no warrantyofc he hasn't done that either, and has realized the fact that is too expensive.its a kids ring more or less.. and he won't even bother with getting it properly size. You dont need to spend thousands of dollars or something on a ring.. but like be upfront about it and get the right size yiu know?... and.don't spend equivalent money on yourself either... he spends lavishely for himself apperantly

My wedding ring set is sterling silver and cubic zirconia. The total price was $75. Sterling silver is a precious metal and cubics are lab created diamonds. Costume jewelry is metal plated. You can absolutely get a SS ring resized and it's not very expensive. I can assure you my ring is a far cry from a kid's ring.

Cubic zirconia is not a lab created diamond. They aren't even made of the same material, cubic zirconia doesn't contain any carbon at all. They also will not stand up to the test of time, as they will eventually discolor. A lab created diamond is chemically, and structurally, the exact same as a natural diamond.

Are lab grown diamonds really that bad? Plus you don't support either the blood diamond trade or DeBeers

No and there's pretty much no difference, most people won't know just by looking, as you can get just as high clarity in a lab as "real diamonds"

Probably higher clarity in a lab than natural diamonds.

No, they exactly the same as diamonds dug out of the ground. Their chemical composite and how they're formed is the same (their creation is just incredibly sped up). Brilliant Earth offers both and the price difference is impressive. If I am ever again in the market for a diamond ring, I'd go with a lab-grown to keep costs down and because they're more ethical and responsible.

No, they're great. Prissy people want natural stone just to say they have it.

Cubic zirconia is not a man made diamond.

No, lab grown diamonds are not bad. I'd want to make sure you didn't get charged natural diamond prices for a lab diamond though.

I think the issue here is that he bought a garbage ring, rather than the amount he spent. CZ can range from very diamond-like to glass-like. Even the silver band can be c**p depending on the thickness and finish. If he didn't want to get a diamond (I'm not a fan; my engagement ring was an emerald), he should have discussed that with her beforehand; maybe she would have preferred a different stone. If he didn't want to spend a lot on her ring, that's fine depending on his reason (if the ring represents how he views her or the relationship, this isn't a good sign). He could have found an inexpensive CZ ring that was good quality and beautiful, but he didn't. They need to have an honest conversation.

I think the difference is that zirconia is something that is commonly used in casual jewelry and a ring like that can cost only a little over 10 euro, and the fiancé spends a lot of money on himself.I'm a bit confused as to why she cares enough to look it up if she doesn't really wear it anyways.

Yeah, that chick got totally shut down and schooled on how real diamonds come to market. TBF, I walked into this expecting to hate but ESH - her for her "cheap" comment, him for not at least sorting out the resizing.

lab grown diamonds are much much much more ethical, what was her problem?

He didn't give her a lab/man made diamond. So get that correct.

Lab grown diamonds is the middle way between silver and cubic zirkonia and the real flashy diamond thing. I think it's the best thing ever .

I'd say lab grown diamonds are way above cubic zirconia, and I really don't see the issue she has with sterling silver, I bet she wouldn't know the difference if she had to pick it out (the silver, not the stone)

Completely agree with you about the difference between lab grown diamonds being way above CZ. Though they're increasing rapidly in costs. The lab grown diamonds will last the same as a natural diamond. CZ, if anyone does their research, isn't considered a gemstone that will last the distance - CZ is prone to micro scratches and clouding. I do think silver is usually easy enough to spot for people if they are into their jewellery unless it is plated with something like palladium. White gold without plating is not as white as silver. However, she's claims to be not much of a jewellery wearer so I'm surprised the metal matters - bar you often find that the 'better' gems go in gold or platinum. I've some lovely silver pieces with beautiful gemstones. Moissanite is another good alternative, though again not as durable as a diamond, with care it should last.

A lab grown diamond (not a diamond simulant) is the exact same thing as a earth mined diamond, except it's made in a lab in a much faster process. The genetic properties and characteristics of the 2 are exactly the same. One is grown in the ground, the other is grown in a lab, hence the lower price but it's the same stone with all the same biological and chemical properties so it's not like it's " a step above a cz" ...like it's a completely diff stone than an earth mined diamond. It's not. Of course it's better than a cz. It's the same as earth mined (genetically speaking). Geez ppl. Do your research. Ugh.

She mentioned the ring doesn't fit and hasn't had any word back from the guy that it would be fixed- after he said he would. Also, cheap rings dont have to look cheap. It sounds like he got something tacky-looking, didn't even bother finding out her ring size, then doesn't really care if it fits or not. All of that when she knows he spends a lot on himself. That's a red flag.My fiance and l talked and planned out my ring ahead of time. I got to design a whole new band for his mom's old ring. All he had to pay for was the labor to pop the stone onto the new band. About $100. And I did offer to pay half but he didn't mind. I am however, going to buy my own wedding band. Good couples talk about this. It sounds like they didn't. Another red flag. Like, does he even want to marry her? How well do they actually know each other, like someone else asked? Yeesh.

Yes. The only modern reason for a costly ring is bragging rights... spend it on a house downpayment instead. Go to local craftsman and have 1-of-a-kind ring made for comparatively few bucks.

That was a sweet idea. It has a back story and is unique

Perfect! and uniquely yours.

I agree with the specificity of a diamond, but certainly a wedding ring should be high quality and durable for the decades to come. Cubic zirconia and sterling silver will not hold up.

An engagement ring and a wedding ring are two different things. And she already stated she doesn't wear jewelry. it will be fine in a box.

My engagement ring is cubic zirconia and sterling, and it's held up beautifully through the years.

My grandmother's band is also razor thin. It represents quite a love story, as some of her family disowned her for marrying a less-than-wealthy man.

I think it was more because as "tradition" goes, the bride's family used to pay for the whole wedding, so the man spending money on the engagement ring balanced it out.

Nope, to show she's taken, the cost of the honeymoon is his way of balancing out.

Agree

Yeah, all you're paying for with diamonds is de Beers marketing. But you should discuss that between yourselves.

Yeah, i wondered that. There's been no word on the resizing. Idk i need more info.

She doesn't mention whether or not she makes money and what she spends it on. My salary after joint bills/savings etc is up to me how I spend it.

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Doesn't she have her own money? Is she depending on him to meet all her needs?

With this one, it isn't just how much it cost, it's also that it didn't fit, it didn't look nice, and the fiancee doesn't seem to care.

Are lab grown diamonds really that bad? Plus you don't support either the blood diamond trade or DeBeers

No and there's pretty much no difference, most people won't know just by looking, as you can get just as high clarity in a lab as "real diamonds"

Probably higher clarity in a lab than natural diamonds.

No, they're great. Prissy people want natural stone just to say they have it.

Cubic zirconia is not a man made diamond.

No, lab grown diamonds are not bad. I'd want to make sure you didn't get charged natural diamond prices for a lab diamond though.

lab grown diamonds are much much much more ethical, what was her problem?

He didn't give her a lab/man made diamond. So get that correct.

Lab grown diamonds is the middle way between silver and cubic zirkonia and the real flashy diamond thing. I think it's the best thing ever .